Who are you anyway?

I’m a mother, wife, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, government worker, entrepreneur, dog owner, Californian, El Portalian, Mainer, hiker, runner, poet, pescatarian, cook, reader, learner, musician, art enthusiast, community volunteer, dancer, and crafter.

Those labels are what work this morning. How strongly I identify with each relates directly to the time I spend being those things. I’ll always be a mother, though I see my kids mostly on vacations and holidays. I am still adjusting to what it means to be an empty nest mother after being a bit of a helicopter parent- a testament to that struggle is the much-needed book my youngest gave me for Christmas, Parenting Your Adult Child. Only my dogs know that I identify as a musician, having front row seats to my evening couch concerts. Some of my identifiers aren’t ready for prime time. I’ve left more personal identifiers off this list entirely. Telling others leaves you vulnerable, though stating it also provides the structure for how you are viewed and can open up opportunities.

Three years ago when I started running in earnest, I would not have told anyone that I’m a runner. Today, I say I am a slow runner, an older runner, and a never going to win a race runner, but also a regular, early morning dog in tow, happiest running in the rain, enthusiastic, and grateful for each opportunity to train runner. I am a runner.

How to become who you want to be

I’m not there yet, but I want to be a writer. That’s the biggest reason I started this blog. I think about writing all the time. My master’s degree was focused on writing and the teaching of writing. But I wasn’t writing. Starting this blog is forcing my hand; it’s establishing accountability for myself.

People will believe you and hold you to it when you tell them who you are. Don’t carelessly label yourself or half commit. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had dinner guests say to me, I thought you were a vegetarian, as I shovel in seafood or turkey at Thanksgiving.

However, saying it can make it so if you are willing to put in the time. And it isn’t essential that others know everything about you. Allow there to be some fluidity in your life.

Here are some of my aspirations:

• I want to be a writer

• I want to be a saver

• I want to be a minimalist

• I want to be a scholar

• I want to be a (better) musician

I only have found the time for writing, and that is cutting into some of the things I typically spend time doing. I’ve been running less and eating worse even as I ironically share with readers how they can do it better. But I’m writing.

How do you identify? Are you satisfied with those labels?

Tips for success

Regardless of your aspirations, a great foundation for living out any label you choose is to be healthy in body and soul. Putting time into healthy eating, regular movement, time for planning and reflection, and time with loved ones is a great starting point. How would you describe how you eat, move, think, and love? Positive labels? Room for improvement?

Here are some tips to get you started on becoming the person you want to be:

1. Establish a healthy foundation: Taking care of your body and soul is critical for success in any area of life. Make sure you’re putting time into healthy eating, regular physical activity, planning and reflection, and spending time with loved ones.

2. Surround yourself with supportive people: Spend time with those who share your goals and values, and avoid those who compromise them. Find a community that can support your dreams and inspire you to take action.

3. Take small, consistent steps: It’s easy to get caught up in the big picture and feel overwhelmed. Instead, focus on taking small, consistent steps towards your goal every day.

4. Embrace failure: Failure is a natural part of growth and learning. Don’t be afraid to take risks and make mistakes. Use them as opportunities to learn and grow.

5. Celebrate your successes: Celebrate each step you take towards your goal, no matter how small. Recognize and appreciate your progress, and use it to motivate yourself to take the next step.

Remember, becoming the person you want to be is a lifetime journey that takes time and effort. But with dedication and persistence, you can achieve anything you set your mind to. 

I’m cheering for you.

Carpe Diem quotes to get you started:

Charles Buxton: "You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it."

Rob Sheffield: "The times you lived through, the people you shared those times with — nothing brings it all to life like an old mix tape. It does a better job of storing up memories than actual brain tissue can do. Every mix tape tells a story. Put them together, and they can add up to the story of a life."

Roman Payne: "It’s not that we have to quit this life one day, but it’s how many things we have to quit all at once: music, laughter, the physics of falling leaves, automobiles, holding hands, the scent of rain, the concept of subway trains… if only one could leave this life slowly!"

Albert Einstein: "Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions."

Mother Teresa: "Life is a game, play it."

Mark Twain: "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

Bernard Berenson: "I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours."

Oliver Wendell Holmes: "Many people die with their music still in them. Why is this so? Too often it is because they are always getting ready to live. Before they know it, time runs out."

Hazel Lee: "I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dropped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity."

Larry McMurtry: "If you wait, all that happens is that you get older."

Margaret Fuller: "Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live."

John Henry Cardinal Newman: "Fear not that life shall come to an end, but rather fear that it shall never have a beginning."

Robert Brault: "The more side roads you stop to explore, the less likely that life will pass you by."

Mignon McLaughlin: "Every day of our lives we are on the verge of making those slight changes that would make all the difference."

Art Buchwald: "Whether it's the best of times or the worst of times, it's the only time we've got."

Andrea Boydston: "If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance."

Russell Baker: "Life is always walking up to us and saying, "Come on in, the living's fine," and what do we do? Back off and take its picture."

Diane Ackerman: "I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well."

Stephen Levine: "If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say? And why are you waiting?"

Thomas P. Murphy: "Minutes are worth more than money. Spend them wisely."

Marie Ray: "Begin doing what you want to do now. We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand, and melting like a snowflake."

Mark Twain: "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."

Horace: "Who knows whether the Gods will add tomorrow to the present hour?/"

Henry James: "I think I don't regret a single 'excess' of my responsive youth—I only regret, in my chilled age, certain occasions and possibilities I didn't embrace."

Samuel Johnson: "Life is not long, and too much of it must not pass in idle deliberation of how it shall be spent."

Allen Saunders: "Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans."

Benjamin Franklin: "Lost time is never found again."

William Shakespeare: "I wasted time, and now doth time waste me."

Henry David Thoreau: "Only that day dawns to which we are awake."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe: "Every second is of infinite value."

Ralph Waldo Emerson: "We are always getting ready to live but never living."

Sydney J. Harris" "Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable."

Adam Marshall" "You only live once; but if you live it right, once is enough."

Friedrich Nietzsche: "When one has a great deal to put into it a day has a hundred pockets."

Ruth Ann Schabacker" "Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons."

Khurana, Simran. "Inspiring Quotes to Use When You Want to Say 'Carpe Diem'." ThoughtCo, Sep. 8, 2021, thoughtco.com/inspiring-quotes-carpe-diem-2831933.