Back to School: get it together and be nice.
When my kids were little, I used the return to school routine to reset my own goals. Even years after becoming an empty nester, I still feel the urge to organize and reset things.
Five months have passed since my last blog post. And I’ve been beating myself up about it. I’ve also gained some weight, exercised less, and allowed more sugar and alcohol into my diet than I have for years.
The messages in my head have been brutal. I’m so mean. Lots of diminishing messages—all or nothing thinking and generally just feeling bad about myself.
The truth is that starting in March I faced some real challenges to my time and emotions. I moved out of our home of 22 years and underwent subsequent home renovations. Staffing shortages at work challenged my schedule. I contracted a second round of Covid, which played havoc with my hormones and dopamine levels. I cared for a beloved pet who we lost in July. Summer travel took me out of my routines.
I knew all this was true, but my internal dialogue became increasingly negative. I found myself questioning my expertise and ability. My self-talk was cruel. I felt down, so I gave in more easily to meals that included lots of chips and dips, ice cream and beer.. As time went by, I told myself that my break from writing was more about my lack of ability to keep up than legitimate reasons. In time, thinking about writing gave me stress instead of pleasure.
But those messages were from my harshest critic and pretty unfair to myself.
Then I read this book, Chatter by Ian Kross, which explores the messages we send ourselves and how they influence our moods, productivity, behavior, and overall well-being. My experience mirrors the author’s: despite having legitimate reasons for a break, my self-talk was filled with doubt and fear.
If I were to reframe my thoughts about blogging, I might see myself as a writer who is taking a well-deserved rest. Perhaps I could view this as a time for creativity and reflection, rather than a failure. I could celebrate that even though I ran less, I still ran or walked five days a week, I ate healthy most of the time, and I even introduced some mobility training to support my ligaments.
Self-talk is key to success with any change—we believe that voice in our head.
Five Ways to Keep Your Inner Voice Supportive:
Challenge Negative Thoughts: When you catch yourself thinking negatively, ask yourself if there’s evidence to support that belief. Replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones.
Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with kindness and understanding, just as you would a friend. Avoid self-criticism and focus on self-encouragement.
Set Realistic Goals: Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your progress along the way, no matter how small.
Focus on the Positive: Shift your attention to the things you’re grateful for and the accomplishments you’ve achieved.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a therapist about your challenges. Sharing your feelings can help alleviate negative thoughts and provide valuable perspectives.
By cultivating a supportive inner voice, you can improve your mental well-being, boost your motivation, and achieve your goals. Remember, you deserve your own kindness and encouragement. Love the one you’re with.
So I’m starting again. Refocusing on eating, moving, and thinking in ways that will support my overall health. I’ve done it for years and know I can do it again.
Join me? Reset to finish the year strong.
